Give me a sign.

Signage. Sign of the times. Sign offs. Sign ups. Sign in. On this island, which is the same size as Manhattan, signs are very important. However, they are are also rare, frequently absent and generally unreliable. Yet, when they do appear they can be very entertaining. In the middle of Cruz Bay, otherwise known as Town, there is a fairly large traffic circle—the intersection of 5 roads—with a flat vacant center except for one sign. The sign reads "0 Mile." In public restrooms at restaurants and other retail establishments there are discrete signs above the toilets informing the unknowing tourists "We must conserve water on St. John. Do not flush after number one." Thankfully, in this place where auto traffic laws are left overs from the British era, there are occasional signs along the island's only 3 roadways warning, "Keep Left." Some streets do not have street signs and addresses are vary rare—the phone book simply provides the "Estate" or region of the island in which a home or business is located. To say we have sat in our jeep, Butch, at times wondering where we are or how to get where we're going is a gross understatement. We have been frustrated. Angry. Mystified. Dumbfounded. So, last weekend when we decided to visit Lambshur beach, located at the very opposite end of the island's main road, Centerline Drive, we found the signage along the way to be the island's very best. Not because it was informative, convenient or effective, but because it was so very St. John. And considering it was on the Coral Bay side of the island—thought by some to be an enclave of aging, anti-establishment hippies—we weren't surprised and even applauded their humor.  As I write this post and relive traveling the curving, bumpy road and taking in the beautiful scenery, I'm inspired to modify a few signs myself: Onion Dip, Take a Dip, or perhaps Dip *#%^!